Posted by: americarocksdude | February 21, 2017

The End (but not the credits) 


Bet you didn’t expect this!!

I started opiates 15 years ago as an “art project”. I saw what they did to my cousin,  I saw what they did to the art world, music, poetry, movies… I had to find out myself. How could something so small be so fierce? The end of this blog will outline what will be the longest art project of my career. Most people will call me stupid or an idiot.. sorry beat you to it. Let me be you. Let me take the pain for you; so you don’t have to befriend the devil to understand the world. For 15 years before I stood in the glory of the sun; brightly casting light upon all who crossed me. I wondered if heroin specifically could strip me of my personality. It took me a long time to even find heroin; that was one of the strange struggles this project required.

Not only did I find the devil but I found his father, grandfather, and master.

See darkness is like a lemon, you take off the bright cover masking the sour acidity inside. Then it looses its taste. You pour sugar over it, in attempt to mask the pain, now you’ve committed yourself to sugar; an unimposed invitiation. Lemon and sugar who can go wrong? Everyone likes lemon aid let’s open a stand! Hi there, hello; my name is gut wrenching, legs kicking, cold, vomit, hot, shitstorm, sweat beads, you don’t have a dollar; I don’t know you.

Eventually there is no opiate; there is no you. Everything’s swirled together, you grasp the whales hand, he pulls you deep down into the Black Sea. If he comes up for a breath consider yourself lucky, many surface only once; returning to the depths; only to tumble; one hard silent last crash in the sand.

If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? No,  only a vibration. Perceivable only by those in range, and dimension.

I will continue this project over the next three months before completing it. I am just lucky today to be alive. My old racket of wires is still buzzing and beeping, more than I can say for many of those who bore through this project as unknowing candidates; each allowing me a taste of their soul, before I gobbled them down; watched them swirl through drains beside me. Me, always ‘smarter’, ‘stronger’, more ‘exceptional’. Did shit and sandpaper meld me? We will only  truly know in the next few months; I’m as curious as you.

Many may see me as the problem. I am the dilution, no better nor worst, my hands only carry the plague forth; as not to sow my own festering garden to death. For in the shadows one must sell darkness, it’s the only way. Join them willingly or prepare for the calamity of your fall.

I want to thank the literally thousands of people, autospell wanted to thank the KGB. You performed wonderfully, I couldn’t have played  the part any better.

Welcome to the end of the Opiate Idiot, but we arnt quite to the credits. See, many of you who now know me likely saw this coming. The worlds greatest liar, cheater and thief. No surprise I went straight for the deep end. That’s just the kind of guy I am. Now I know you are too, I have seen so many faces on darkness that names escape me. I have travelled the country countless times in unilateral deception. I will share with you a few of the worlds secrets, if you bother to stick around.

Coming next : Oh god so much, snub nosed dogs snarling at shiny silver whales, gold coins encrypted with occult banter, space time collapses, a compromise is spelled, the bargain begins. You run from the waves you know must topple. You haven’t looked in the mirror your whole life, who is that. I don’t recognize him, he has no place at our table, yet he sits, and says grace.
Now it’s time to hear his grace. Listen to his woes and worries, with unguarded ears. Unworried eyes, unsung song, unending pain. I will show you all the dark cannibal of heroin. Having emerged not only a survivor but a thriver. How can one go to hell and survive? Only by pulling up your chair next to the devil and giving him a toast.

I wanted to record my struggles, but don’t think you are me. For heed my warnings but don’t devour the words. I am quite ‘exceptional’.
More to come, from the man who tasted and fell, swirled with sour lips, bargained and begot.

Let me share with you MY experience, in hopes I won’t share my crimes. The end of my story is only the beginning. The beginning of a dark tall rising plague of heroin infested sequential mistakes.

What’s the best part of this tale? I could be your neighbor, I might be your friend. I  might be your uncle, possibly even your father. Don’t you want to find out? I may be your babysitter, late at night alone with your kids. Just us, me, malleability, and the devil makes three.

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